User blog:AnimatronicClown/Endeavoring
Okay, this is obviously going to be a really long blog post. I will start off with a sincere apology for the lack of posts since December 14th. I didn't realize that it's been that long! I'm just now back to school, and actually, I just realized that I switched classes this semester... I went to my first period class from last semester, and realized there were new students in the clasroom. I asked a new girl, "Oh, did you switch here this semester?" and she said, "Yeah, I had Oral Communications last semester, so now I have this." Then it hit me. Oh, wow... I have Oral Communications this semester. It's also known as "Speech Class". Needless to say, I checked online, and yeah, I was in the wrong class. So needless to say, I'm now sitting in the Speech classroom typing this. I wouldn't call this a great start to the new semester. But I have ''to stay positive. Anyways, now that I got that new information out of the way, I'll continue with what I was originally about to say... Like I said, I just got back from Christmas break. It was somewhere around two weeks long. My therapist didn't allow me to do ''any ''schoolwork over my break, as she said I was in dire need of a "mental break". The only thing I did was read a book (but it was by my hero, Scott Cawthon, so I actually ''wanted ''to read this book for once). Really, I wasn't even supposed to ''think ''about this semester while I was out of school. I tried, and did fairly well. And here's a major thing, guys. 'I didn't have a single attack during my break. 'Yes, that's just awesome. However, it leads me to believe school contains a ton of triggers for me considering I was having two or more attacks a week while I was at school. I don't know... Anyways, I'm back at school now, so there's that. I don't know. I'll just move on now. I recently switched some medications again. I won't go into a ton of detail, but the anxiety/antidepressant medicine I was taking, well, I've been on it for about 10 years, and honestly, I didn't think it was working anymore. So we switched that to a new medicine. I'm taking half the dosage of my old one and half a dosage of the new one for a week, then I will somply take a whole pill of my new one. So far, I cannot tell for ''sure if the new medicine is working yet. I think it might ''be, but I cannot say for sure yet, and I also don't want to jinx it. I am very hopeful that it will end up helping me at least a little once I start the full dosage in a day or so. It's talking about things like this that make me wish so badly that there was a cure for mental illnesses like anxieties, depression, etc. I truly do. If I knew that it would be matter of fact, I would spend most of my life researching for a cure. But the thing is, I know that all of us that suffer from these types of things have them and we are so much stronger by finding ways to conquer them with our own strategies. And another thing, we are all here for each other. And that's the main reason I type these posts and update those who actually want to read them. I've said this before, but it's just that I really hope sharing my journey with all of my stuggles will maybe help someone else. To anyone who may be reading this, here's what I hope... I hope that this will, at the least, let you know that what ever you may be going through, you are ''not ''alone. Even if we're not dealing with the same struggles, we still can be here for each other. That's the amazing thing about the internet. While it can be a dangerous, hurtful place, there are places like this wiki that exist only to help, support, encourage, and form a community. I hope that's what happening here, even if only for a few people. It has helped me just trying to run it to the best of my ability, and I've already made at ''least ''ten friends here since I started it! (I'm starting to get off topic, but hopefully that's okay). I also hope that, by sharing my journey, I can spark some sort of hope or encouragement or motivation for you. It's a huge decision to share my personal story from day to day with the public. I'm opening myself up to you because I want to let you all be with me on my journey. I know what I mean, but for some reason, I cannot word it right. I'm not trying to get credit, or get idolized, or anything of that sort. I only want to help people, myself included! This has helped me realize things that I couldn't figure out for myself until I got on here and started to really type what was on mind. I have had past posts where I have described in a lot of detail certain things and also I've broken things down into steps and doing that has really helped me realize, learn, and understand stuff a little better. I'm really dragging this on now... I feel like I was going to go on to another topic in a new paragraph, but I think I have kind of lost my train of thought at this point. I'm started to get that feeling where I feel like my mood is transitioning from being, I don't know... I guess like normal/kind of happy, or what ever... to feeling like my stomach has dropped to bad news, paranoid, something that is kind of like depression, and just... It's just not a comfortable feeling is all I can really say. I hate it so much, and I don't understand it. It's a constant on-and-off thing that comes up numerous times daily with me. Anyways, I think I'm going to end this one here since I'm getting off topic, out of my train of thought, and disorganized. Nonetheless, I do hope that you all have a great day, week, and Happy New Year. Thank you if you took the time to read this long as heck post. I don't know how you do it. I mean, I personally would 'love''' to see blog posts from other users here. I'd definitely read all of them. But that's just me. Anyways, I really need to stop rambling. Thanks, guys. Category:Blog posts Category:Blog posts